I returned back to Singapore from Malaysia on the third day of Chinese New Year and was invited by my boyfriend's (a Singaporean) family to visit them. After some brushing-up and preparation of gifts I brought back from Malaysia, I was ready to go. However, I was halted abruptly by my boyfriend. "Where are the mandarin oranges?" he asked. I got puzzled and queried, "What mandarin oranges?"
Apparently, it is customary among the Singaporean Chinese population to bring two mandarin oranges to exchange with the host family when visiting during Chinese New Year, which signifies blessings of prosperity and wealth to the family. On the contrary, this is rarely practiced in Malaysia, specifically Sarawak. Mandarin oranges are merely used for display at home or are served to visiting guests during the celebration.
Fortunately, my boyfriend had some mandarin oranges with him and gave me two before we left. Imagine the awkwardness and embarrassment that would take place if he did not tell me about it! I am certainly much well prepared for the celebration this year round.
Through such incidences, it reminds us of our level of cultural ignorance, leading us to assume that other cultures have similar practices as our own culture. Such ignorance can possibly lead to adverse consequences due to misunderstandings. Hence, it is essential that we be culturally aware and sensitive to various cultural behaviours to avoid conflicts in interpersonal relations between different cultures.
P/S: I asked around my friends from different states of Malaysia. It is interesting to note that while most Sarawakian friends I know are unaware of this tradition, many of my West Malaysian friends do practice this.
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Oh I didn't know that this wasn't common practice in Malaysia. Actually, cross-culture might even happen in a country itself. Perhaps for certain people who do away with traditions, they might not have a habit of exchanging oranges as well.
ReplyDeleteThis makes being informed even more difficult and ever more important. Especially in a cosmopolitian country, one might not know exactly what to expect at all. For instance you have a family who is one quarter Chinese, one quarter Malay, one quarter Indian and another quarter American. What is one supposed to do? Cultures can get truly complexing and confusing.
In your case Valarie, it might have been a good idea if you got yourself informed by asking about your boyfriend's family's traditional practices. Horrors of horrors, they might expect beyond two mandarin oranges. It is always good to ask, be informed and be prepared in all sense of the word.
Well I've never heard of mandarin oranges being exchanged with the host family, that sounds pretty interesting. Such similar things have happened to me too, thanks to my embarassing ignorance of my own culture. Going back home to Sri Lanka to visit my relatives makes me nervous. Growing up in Oman I wasn't really exposed to the practices/rituals involved in visiting family.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is, when some relatives see you ignorant of such customs, they think growing up overseas has made me forget my roots and that I've become too proud to aquaint myself with tradition. Ofcourse this isn't true by a long shot, but Sri Lankan relatives can be really unforgiving if you forget customs you're supposed to know. My parents have always been wonderful supporting me in such situations, they have never left me hanging. But now, they always coach me beforehand, my mother makes sure I know everything that is expected of me before visiting families...haha! Those boy scouts sure knew what they saying when they said "Be Prepared"!
Hello Val!
ReplyDeleteHappy Chinese New Year! You are not the only one! In Taiwan we don't exchange mandarin oranges too so I found it quite interesting when I went visiting for the first time. Thankfully I was with my parents so I wasn't expected to bring mandarin oranges. (:
Hey hey!
ReplyDeleteI am quite surprise to know that in Malaysia, it is not a common practice to exchange oranges! Most of the dialect groups in Singapore seem to have their own way of exchanging oranges. Cantonese will bring four oranges (which is a no no for Hokkiens because it brings bad luck) and take back two while Hokkiens will bring even number oranges (except four) and take back an entire new batch. I found out recently from my relative, from the Hainan Province, that in her village they will bring a basket of oranges for visiting and the amount of oranges we bring for visiting will be considered a joke in their villages. So it is interesting to know that in Malaysia, exchanging oranges is not a common practice because I always regarded it as a part of Chinese New Year.
Hey! Gosh I had no idea it wasn't the custom in Malaysia but honestly my family does not really practise it either. I guess it depends on how deep the family tradition is. Even different families in a country itself have different customs.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this with us, Valarie. You describe the incident well enough, in the final paragraph offer some analysis and generate interesting feedback (I especially like Lin's, which is very informative).
ReplyDeleteWhat you don't mention is that even within this large mass of humanity known in academic circles as the "overseas Chinese," variation in cultural practices is the norm. I assume that those variations are based on the different geographical homelands of the first immigrants to Southeast Asia. Would that seem right to you?
Hi Brad,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your feedback. I would not agree with that.
When you analyse the Singapore community which DOES practise this, there may be variations in the way people practise it.
However, it is interesting to find that the community that doesn't practise any of these consist of people whose ancestors come from different geographical homelands in China as well.
So, what I feel is that, this culture may have altered due to the difference in demography in Southeast Asia. Nonetheless, the issue is really open to debate.
Hello all, (much apologies for this really late reply, life's been busy!)
ReplyDelete@ Jude: You are right about that. I have learnt from this incident that I should always ask before I step my foot into someone's house. It would be really terrible if they ask for more mandarin oranges, though! =p
@ Ranmali: I know exactly how you feel. Don't worry. I have some rather traditional Malaysian friends. When they heard that I do not practise as what I have written, they wrote me off as being too arrogant to learn such things, which, of course, is so not true. How are you supposed to learn something that you aren't even aware about?
@ Shih Han: Do you celebrate your CNY frequently in Taiwan? Even more frequent than in Singapore?
@ Lin: Now I have learnt more from you about this tradition! Hahaha! From two oranges, I know we can bring a basketful! =p
@ Kellyn: Well, I'd prefer to think that being aware (may not need to practise) is better than totally not being aware at all! =p